He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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