There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize