If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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