**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
