Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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