weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize