Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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