Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
