My liver just broke up with me...
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
You're like the curious george of whores
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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