Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
