I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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