also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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