I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
