Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Randomize