you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
