I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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