beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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