He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
