my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize
