literally had 100 drinks last night.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
