So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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