Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
