worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
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