So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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