btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
