am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
