she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
