She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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