dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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