There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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