I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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