Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
