Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
