i always forget guys have bellybuttons
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I need a burrito and a hug.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize