And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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