I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
