Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
