Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Randomize
