I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
