Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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