obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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