i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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