Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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