I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
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