he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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