i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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