Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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