Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
