Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
