i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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