Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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