im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
