what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Just invented taco cereal.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
