Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Pooping to opera.
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