Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
