So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
