hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
