So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
