I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize