oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
