Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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