I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
