i just had sex bonerless
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
