i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
