I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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