I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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