Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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