Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
